For many, financial abuse comes long before other forms of domestic violence. It is a sly and gentle form of control that can exist from the very outset of a relationship, over develop as a form of manipulation over time. Helping a person “budget”, managing all the b ills, making all of the investments, are initial forms of control that  might seem innocuous, but can develop the dependency required for financial victimhood. (“How Money Traps Victims of Domestic Violence”) Financial Abuse is really the most damaging form of domestic abuse, but it might be the most enabling for other forms of violence. It usually takes a back seat to physical, verbal, and emotional abuses when being discussed by therapists and counselors. But it is as much a tool of abuse and oppression in a bad relationship as any. The use of financial controls often keeps people in relationships where they are further subject to other forms of abuse. What’s more, financial abuse is often the first sign of dating violence and domestic abuse. Consequently, knowing how to identify financial abuse is critical to your safety and security. Additionally, knowing about the resources available and the professionals who can support your efforts is an early defensive measure available to victims. “Money is among the most powerful weapons of control in a relationship, but little attention is being paid to the financial aspects of domestic abuse.” (Smith) First, let’s Define Financial Abuse In 98% of abusive relationships, the number one reason the victim sites that they stay in the relationship is financial. Yet 78% of rank and file Americans don’t note financial abuse as a form of domestic violence. (“Financial Abuse – PCADV”) At its root, financial abuse involves controlling a victim’s ability to acquire, access, use, and maintain financial resources on their terms. (“How to Identify Financial Abuse in a Relationship”) Those who are victimized financially may be prevented from working outright, forced to take lesser paying jobs that keep them home more, and in many cases aren’t allowed to have their own, “independent” money and accounts. These are all forms of Finacial Abuse. This collection of measures often results in limiting the individual’s ability to generate income in the present and likely in the future. As a result, it limits the inflow portion of the equation in financial abuse. The second layer in financial abuse is limiting any current access to money. A victim may also have their own money restricted or stolen by the abuser. Rarely do victims report having complete access to money and other financial resources (“NNEDV”). When they do have money, they often have to account for their spending. This manifests in a few ways including allowances, reviewing transaction histories on debit and credit cards, and the ever-looming presence of monitoring and controlling the outflow of money. Some of this behavior runs along the lines of proper financial stewardship, which can be the source of the gaslighting. But ultimately, if the power balance in this reviewing of the financial records is not done for planning purposes but rather for control, then the “good” of planning is replaced by the “bad” of financial control and abuse. The results of Financial Abuse Financial Abuse often comes long before other forms of abuse. An early and less identifiable tool of control, financial abuse often prevents victims from seeking help with other forms of abuse later on. Admittedly, financial abuse is less commonly understood and harder to identify than other forms of abuse. Financial abuse is one of the most powerful methods of keeping a victim trapped in an abusive relationship causing further restrictions and harm.  Research shows that victims often become concerned with their ability to provide for themselves financially (“NNEDV”). The presence of children only furthers that concern. Financial insecurity then becomes one of the top reasons victims fail to leave, and/or return to their abusive partners. The continued effects of financial abuse are often devastating. Victims feel inadequate and unsure of themselves due to the emotional abuse that accompanies financial abuse.  Victims often report that their “worth” in the relationship became tied to their financial worth, which was often beyond their control. This forges a vicious cycle of negative self-worth and reinforcement by the inability to provide for themselves. Victims also have to go without food and other necessities because they have no money and limited access to financial support. Financial abuse often delays or makes escape plans impossible, which opens the door to further and more severe forms of domestic abuse. Financial abuse exposes victims to additional forms of abuse and further violence. Without access to money, credit cards, and other financial assets, it’s extremely difficult to do any type of safety planning and escape planning. (OHCHR) For many, the immediate safety plan requires distancing themselves with a discrete location where they can rebuild their lives. When an abuser is particularly violent and the victim needs to leave to stay safe, this is difficult without money or a credit card. This is all according to plan for the abuser. (“How Money Traps Victims of Domestic Violence”) For those who do escape in the short term, financial abuse creates a knock-on effect in the long term. The lack of credit history, permanent place to live, and capacity to earn have been diminished for years. This means the subsequent legal battle becomes harder and tentpoles for developing a financial plan may be non-existent. Upon escape, they often find themselves in a new extreme and find it difficult to obtain long-term housing, safety, and security. Victims often have spotty employment records, ruined credit histories, and mounting legal issues caused by years of financial abuse. Consequently, it’s very difficult for them to establish independence and confidence in their long-term security.  Many victims stay with or return to their abusers due to concerns about financial stability. Tactics Used Isolation is a core tactic of all abusers. So, financial abuse is the goal of isolating victims from money, resources, and people